Archive for December, 2005

my life?

So…I was thinking.

Today, during the service, there was an invitation to go and serve on an international missions team to mexico.  I signed up to receive e-mail updates and notifications, so there is a possibility I may be going.   I really really want to go, so hopefully I will be able to.

But all of this got me thinking…about my future plans for life.

I mean, really, what right have I to plan what I want to do, to benefit only me, to only enhance and enrich my own life?  What will I be doing, really, that will help others?  My major right now is journalism (print), and quite honestly, the “big things” I could do with that are work for a major newspaper, a tv station, or magazine.  I mean really, how much is this going to benefit others’ lives except for reading what I wrote?  I understand that journalism is an important part of daily life, especially in this developed country that we are living in now.  But what if I want to do something more…something that will not only help me and help all the other people that are already doing fine and well.  What if I want to help others who have no, say, medical attention, or children who have no teachers so they cant succeed in life.  What if I wanted to go into missions, and not just any missions, but say, medical missions.  My minor is biology because I am planning on taking some pre-med courses; if I became a doctor, I could really do so much more with my life than just sit and write about the stock market, or what community events are going on in the Phoenix area.  I could help children with AIDS, I could help to vaccinate poor towns with the flu vaccine, etc.  I could do so much more than just for myself, I could really help others.  I think that God has pressed this upon my heart, because lately all I have been thinking about is me, me, me.  What job I am going to get, what man I will marry, what graduate university I will attend, etc.  It’s about time I take all of these thigns and put them to use for Him, and not myself, because only through God can my purpose really be fulfilled.  All of these wonderful things and technology that we have today, we really do take for granted.  We’ve become so self centered, so focused on only what is good for ourselves, and not what’s good for others who are suffering in other places out of the public eye.  I really don’t want to just have another mediocre life, where I go to work Monday through Friday, have a 9-5 job, come home and then cook dinner for my husband.  I mean, that would be nice and all, but that’s what everyone has.  Don’t get me wrong, maybe that’s what God has in store for me, a nice life with a nice family and a nice house, etc.  But maybe that’s not God’s plan for me, who am I to control what happens– I have no control over anything, God does.  I live in Ahwatukee, for crying out loud– there are no worries in sight, no problems, no anything.  Even going to McClintock, which is not as “rich” a school as Desert Vista, it was still FAR more well off than schools in, say, Mexico, or Africa.  I really need to change my perspective and start thinking about what use God wants to put my abilities to use for, not so that I can just have the “American dream” lifestyle. 

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